My sister didn’t pitch in for our parents’ gift and is causing a scene

My sister didn’t pitch in for our parents’ gift and is causing a scene

Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Lillian, Athena, and Elizabeth here(It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

My parents will be having their fiftieth wedding anniversary this year. They never got to go on their honeymoon due to family troubles and have always wanted to travel, but never got further than Canada. Four years ago, I proposed my siblings and I send them on an all-expenses paid European cruise for the big anniversary. I don’t make the most money out of the family, but my job pays well and expenses are low.

My two disabled brothers were all in. My sister was not. She called the idea “ludicrous” and a “waste of money.” She wasn’t going in with the rest of us. Fair enough, but with the anniversary coming up she changed her tune. My brothers are getting our parents’ new luggage and paying for excursions on the trip. I am paying the rest.

I told my sister if she wanted to reimburse me half the cost of the trip, she could join in. She told me that I was being greedy and ridiculous. She was a stay-at-home mom and didn’t have thousands of dollars just laying around. I got really annoyed at this. My sister’s husband is a lawyer. They have a huge house, go on fancy vacations every year, drive brand-new cars, and her kids go to private schools. If I can manage to save a few hundred a month to give our parents the trip of a lifetime, I think my sister could trim the financial fat somehow.

I told her she has four years to think up another gift and suggested she take our parents out to dinner. She told me no dinner could compete with a European cruise and I was trying to upstage her. I told her she had my offer and could take it or leave it. My brothers are annoyed by our sister but think she will make a scene at the anniversary party. I don’t want that to happen but I don’t think I am wrong for laying this boundary. What do I do?

—Tripping Up

Dear Tripping Up,

If I were playing devil’s advocate, I’d wonder if her husband is in the hole with student loans (he still could be), and that’s why she has a hard time parting with the money. But… it sounds like she’s living a pretty good life, complete with fancy vacations she prioritizes for herself. You and your brothers have done a lot over the past four years to make this gift happen, while she remained silent. Actions speak louder than words and she needs to learn that the hard way.

Her feeling like you’re trying to “outshine her” has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. She’s worried about how she’ll look to your parents, but guess what? That’s for her to deal with. It’s not your problem to solve. When she calls again, explain to her that you’re done talking about this and that your offer still stands. If she starts to be rude, tell her to have a nice day and hang up.

As to her making a possible scene at the party? That’s double embarrassing for her. If your parents ask for the details, you can share that your sister knew for the past few years and then let them assess the situation for themselves.

Dear Pay Dirt,

For the past three years I have been making it my job to put money in my kids’ (ages 3 and 5) piggy banks. For example, we celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah and for Hanukkah, I put $10 a night in their piggy bank rather than give them more toys (which they already have more than enough of). After three years, they each have about $400 in their piggy banks and now I want to do something smart with that money so that when they are teenagers they can have that money to put toward something special (a car, a meaningful trip, etc.). I’m hoping this can be the start of a longer conversation on savings with them as they mature. I’m looking into simple savings accounts at my local bank but I was wondering if you had other suggestions. I’m not interested in putting it into a 529 as I see this as being their “fun” money for the future.

—The Pigs Are Full

Dear Pigs Are Full,

What fun ages! There are a lot of online platforms and apps that can help you teach your children about money while allowing them the flexibility to spend wisely. One of the platforms that I love and recommend you look into when your children are older is Greenlight. The fun, interactive app doubles as their checking and savings account—with access to a real, physical debit card, too. It tracks their spending while sending you alerts to help you monitor where their money is going. It’s got a slew of other helpful features so it’s something to keep in mind.

Since they are still young, this platform probably isn’t the right fit yet. In the meantime, I’d open a child’s savings account with a great annual percentage yield (APY) and continue to make deposits or withdrawals from there—a process you can rope them into once they’re older. You can also make a savings account chart for their room on a dry-erase board. You can create a total amount they’re reaching for (say $1,000) and then have them color it in (or erase) every time they either save or spend, say on a toy, so they can see how their money works in real-time.

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Dear Pay Dirt,

My husband (a 53-year-old man) refuses to believe that the stock market can be a good investment. He thinks it is a scam. Getting him to contribute to his Simple IRA and Roth every year is a fight and he says all of the time that he just wants to pull all his money out, pay the taxes, and invest in something else (real estate? actual gold and silver?) I (44) completely disagree. I have a business degree and worked for a variable annuity company for several years before I left to help him start our construction business. He has worked in construction since high school. He is very smart but hasn’t taken the time to learn anything about investing. I agree that diversifying your investments is a good thing but we don’t have the money to buy investment property or houses. Even if we did, I would still want to make our full contributions to retirement accounts every year. How can I reassure him that, over time, the stock market can give you a good return?

—No Stock In the Market

Dear No Stock,

I don’t blame your husband for being scared, although it sounds like a source of contention (understandably!). The stock market has been rough lately, and at age 53, he’s already seen this play out a few times. You and I both know that when investing, you have to be willing to play the long game to make out like a bandit, with an exception here and there.

Since he wants a diverse portfolio but has a low-risk tolerance, I’d consider suggesting he invest in saving bonds, which the U.S. Department of Treasury backs. You’re automatically guaranteed interest (the current interest rate for I-Bonds is 6.89 percent if purchased by April 30th, 2023) and can cash out the bond after only a year. After watching the I-Bond reliably grow, he may be more tempted to move on to other investment opportunities, such as index funds or mutual funds. And it may grow his confidence in the whole process, too.

Dear Pay Dirt,

I’ve always been unenthusiastic about debt. Right now I have only two accounts: my and my husband’s mortgage (which we’ve had for 14 years) and one credit card that I use for most of my expenses and auto-pay every month. My credit score is good (744 on one service, 800 on another). My husband is ending our marriage and we are selling the house, and I don’t plan to buy another in the near term. How do I keep my good credit score up if I’m going to have fewer accounts?

—Solo Score

Dear Solo Score,

I’m so sorry about your divorce. But I am happy that you are looking out for yourself and your finances.

After your mortgage is paid off, your lender will report that your loan is now closed and paid in full to the three major credit bureaus. Your paid-off mortgage will then be on your credit for up to 10 years. Despite having one less account on your credit report, the paid-off mortgage should act as a bonus and show up positively on your credit history. But you’re right, your score will take a small hit because you’ll no longer have an installment loan open and will be left with just a credit card. Lenders prefer when you have a mix of accounts open. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, though, that dip should only be temporary and will eventually climb back up.

But if you want to work on building out your score, you can always open another credit card for additional expenses. The more credit you have available to you, the less of a utilization rate you’ll have, and that can help. Also, if you are looking to make a bigger purchase, like furniture, a computer, or another big-ticket item, you can consider financing it with an installment loan. This will help show lenders you have a mix of debt, which is what your mortgage was providing. Good luck!

—Athena

Classic Prudie

My mother-in-law lived with us briefly a few months back. She was living with us because she had gotten back on drugs after five years of sobriety and almost died from stomach ulcers. We gave her a place to stay because she swore it was a one-time mistake caused by the man she was seeing at the time. She told all of us she was done with this man, who was letting her bleed to death on the bathroom floor. A couple weeks ago, she received a large insurance settlement for a car accident.

3 Changes to Social Security You Probably Didn’t Know | Personal-finance

3 Changes to Social Security You Probably Didn’t Know | Personal-finance

Lots of seniors depend on Social Security to get by in retirement. But even if you might be not retired, changes to Social Security could impression you equally in the around expression and the prolonged phrase. Below are 3 Social Stability alterations that took location just lately — and what they necessarily mean for you.

1. Rewards obtained a generous increase

In 2022, Social Safety added benefits had been subject matter to a 5.9{1b90e59fe8a6c14b55fbbae1d9373c165823754d058ebf80beecafc6dee5063a} cost-of-dwelling adjustment, or COLA. Which is sizeable, as it represents the program’s most generous COLA in a long time.

Graphic source: Getty Photos.

But you can find a cause at the rear of that COLA — inflation. Living fees rose substantially throughout the latter part of 2021, and that’s what drove 2022’s massive elevate. This calendar year, living costs are up even extra, which implies seniors could see an even far more sizeable COLA for 2023. In truth, some stories are even calling for a COLA that’s shut to 11{1b90e59fe8a6c14b55fbbae1d9373c165823754d058ebf80beecafc6dee5063a} for 2023.

People today are also reading…

We won’t know what subsequent-year’s COLA will look like right up until October, considering the fact that that variety is primarily based on third-quarter inflation information. And it might be that the 11{1b90e59fe8a6c14b55fbbae1d9373c165823754d058ebf80beecafc6dee5063a} estimate is way off. But considering that inflation stages have been larger so considerably this 12 months than past, it is reasonable to say that up coming-year’s COLA will surpass the 5.9{1b90e59fe8a6c14b55fbbae1d9373c165823754d058ebf80beecafc6dee5063a} strengthen seniors bought at the commence of 2022.

2. The wage cap greater

Social Protection will get most of its revenue from payroll taxes. But personnel never fork out taxes on all of their income — just a portion.

Every single yr, a wage cap is put into area that dictates the volume of earnings topic to taxes. Last 12 months, that cap was $142,800. This year, it really is $147,000. And we can hope that cap to improve for 2023, as well, to account for wage expansion.

Right before you regard that as a undesirable detail, take into account that Social Protection demands its payroll-tax revenue to maintain shelling out positive aspects. Even though most of us would relatively pay out significantly less tax than a lot more, by acquiring taxed on our earnings, we’re all performing our aspect to support guarantee that the system will be about for us in retirement.

3. The program’s have confidence in-fund depletion date was pushed again

In the coming several years, Social Protection expects its payroll-tax earnings to dry up considerably as baby boomers exit the workforce in droves. That may perhaps outcome in profit cuts as soon as the program’s have confidence in cash run dry.

Last calendar year, the Social Security Trustees reported that those believe in resources had been most likely to develop into depleted by 2034. This calendar year, that depletion date was pushed again to 2035. Which is good information, as it possibly buys seniors an extra calendar year without the need of reward cuts.

How’s your Social Stability awareness?

It can be critical to remain apprised of Social Stability adjustments regardless of whether you might be getting added benefits or not. A increased wage cap, for case in point, will affect your close to-expression taxes, although updates on the program’s have faith in resources may impact your advantages in the long run.

This just isn’t to say that you have to seek out Social Security information day-to-day. But it does shell out to look out for updates at the time in a whilst so you do not overlook out on anything critical.

The $18,984 Social Stability bonus most retirees wholly neglect

If you might be like most Americans, you might be a several years (or extra) guiding on your retirement discounts. But a handful of minimal-acknowledged “Social Protection techniques” could support guarantee a raise in your retirement earnings. For case in point: 1 effortless trick could fork out you as a great deal as $18,984 extra… each year! At the time you master how to optimize your Social Stability benefits, we consider you could retire confidently with the peace of mind we are all immediately after. Basically simply click right here to learn how to discover more about these strategies.

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They thought they bought Obamacare. But they didn’t get insurance : Shots

They thought they bought Obamacare. But they didn’t get insurance : Shots

A Google search for Obamacare plans can direct consumers to a series of “lead-generating” websites: nongovernmental webpages that connect insurance brokers to consumers.

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A Google search for Obamacare plans can direct consumers to a series of “lead-generating” websites: nongovernmental webpages that connect insurance brokers to consumers.

Getty Images

Tina Passione needed health insurance in a hurry in December. The newly retired 63-year-old was relocating to suburban Atlanta with her husband to be closer to grandchildren. Their house in Pittsburgh flew off the market, and they had six weeks to move out 40 years of memories.

Passione said she went online to search for the federal health insurance marketplace, clicked on a link and entered her information. She promptly got multiple calls from insurance brokers and bought a plan for $384 a month. Later, though, when she went to a pharmacy and doctors’ offices in Georgia, she was told she did not have insurance.

In fact, it said it right on her card: “THIS IS NOT INSURANCE.”

Passione is one of 10 consumers who told KHN that they thought they were buying insurance but learned later that they had been sold a membership to a Houston-based health care sharing ministry called Jericho Share. The ministry formed in 2021 when House of Prayer and Life Inc., a half-century-old Christian congregation, assumed the name Jericho Share, according to Texas business filings.

Health care sharing ministries are faith-based organizations whose members agree to share medical expenses. The ministries grew in popularity before the Affordable Care Act’s mandate for having insurance coverage was repealed, because they offered a cheaper alternative to insurance. But they are not insurance, are largely not regulated as such and don’t necessarily cover members’ medical bills. Massachusetts is the lone state that requires ministries to regularly report data, and only about half of claims submitted to ministries there were deemed eligible for payment. This spring, the Colorado legislature passed similar requirements that await the governor’s signature.

The Better Business Bureau gives Jericho Share an F rating, its lowest, and its website shows more than 100 complaints filed in less than a year. Texas Department of Insurance documents show two complaints, from February and March, about Jericho Share. The department responded to both by saying it regulates insurance, which ministries are not, and forwarding them to the state attorney general’s office. The attorney general’s office did not respond to KHN’s questions about the status of the complaints.

John Oxendine, a lawyer who was elected four times as Georgia’s insurance commissioner and who ran for governor as a Republican in 2010, responded to KHN’s inquiries made to Jericho Share. If memberships are being sold to consumers in misleading ways, “that’s a good way for a broker to get fired,” he said.

KHN logo

“Jericho Share does not tolerate any type of misrepresentation or unethical conduct on the part of its programs,” according to a statement sent through Oxendine. “Whenever we become aware of inappropriate conduct, we take appropriate action to remedy the situation.”

Consumers can always cancel their Jericho Share plans, Oxendine said. Many consumers who spoke to KHN did cancel their plans and receive refunds, but several said the process to do so was frustrating. Some were left to sort out payment for bills they incurred while they thought they were insured. At least seven of the people KHN spoke with said they ended up with Jericho Share after beginning their health insurance searches on Google.

Encountering such issues while shopping for health insurance is not uncommon, said JoAnn Volk, co-director of Georgetown University’s Center on Health Insurance Reforms. She co-authored a 2021 report that found “misleading marketing practices” were directing consumers to alternative health plans, like ministries, that can cost more than marketplace plans and offer fewer protections.

“It’s especially unfortunate because people have set out to buy comprehensive coverage,” Volk said.

Susan Fauman, 47, a metalsmith from Germantown, N.Y., relied on her spouse’s insurance coverage but wanted her own insurance policy before submitting her divorce paperwork last fall. Fauman said her Google search landed her on a series of what the advertising industry calls “lead-generating” websites: nongovernmental webpages that connect insurance brokers to consumers.

Susan Fauman thought she was buying health insurance but learned later that she had bought a membership to Jericho Share, a Houston-based health care sharing ministry.

Susan Fauman


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Susan Fauman


Susan Fauman thought she was buying health insurance but learned later that she had bought a membership to Jericho Share, a Houston-based health care sharing ministry.

Susan Fauman

None of the consumers KHN spoke with could say with certainty which site ultimately connected them to the brokers who sold them Jericho Share memberships. ObamacarePlans.com and AffordableHealthPlans.org are among the lead-generating websites that show up on Google when someone searches with terms such as “Obamacare insurance” or “healthcare marketplace.” Those site listings are actually advertisements that resemble ordinary Google search results but are labeled with the word “Ad” and are placed above the most relevant search result: the federal government’s official health insurance marketplace, healthcare.gov.

Google spokesperson Christa Muldoon said companies that advertise on searches related to the Affordable Care Act must prove they are licensed to sell insurance via the federal or state marketplaces.

Those marketplaces let consumers shop for comprehensive health insurance, tell them whether they qualify for financial assistance and connect consumers with enrollment assistance, if needed. By contrast, lead-generating websites typically just sell the personal information provided by consumers to insurance brokers and agents who can sell other types of plans.

Fauman said she unwittingly put her information into what turned out to be several lead-generating websites. She was soon inundated with phone calls from insurance brokers, she recalled.

Eager to get insurance, Fauman said, she bought a plan for about $330 a month, plus a $99 sign-up fee. She said the broker — who, she later realized, never named the plan — said she’d have basically no copays and no restrictions on where to get care. But he did not tell her that it was a health care sharing ministry, she said, or that it wasn’t insurance — something she didn’t know to ask about. When she received her Jericho Share card with its disclaimer, she thought, “What the hell did I sign up for?”

Ministries and aggressive insurance marketing practices have raised eyebrows before, and the Washington state attorney general issued a consumer alert last year about “ads and websites posing as the official health insurance marketplace.” But Georgetown University’s Volk said large-scale crackdowns would likely require cooperation by multiple state regulators because states are the default enforcers of insurance rules. The Federal Trade Commission did bring a case against a Florida-based operation in 2018, alleging it collected over $195 million by enrolling consumers in “worthless plans.” The case is ongoing.

And it’s not always clear who can and should be protecting consumers in this complicated space that covers public and private insurance, interstate commerce, websites and health care sharing ministries.

The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services manages the healthcare.gov website. “When CMS sees an ad we think is misrepresenting HealthCare.gov, we share it immediately with the search engines,” Deputy Administrator Ellen Montz said in a statement.

Louise Rasho, a spokesperson for MediaAlpha, which operates ObamacarePlans.com, said in an email that the company’s code of conduct does not allow brokers who buy customer leads to mislead consumers. It periodically monitors calls to ensure compliance. She also noted that the site has disclaimers saying that it is not a government website.

Craig Sturgill of Excel Impact, which owns AffordableHealthPlans.org, said that if the company learns a broker has broken the law or used questionable tactics, it terminates contracts and takes “further action” as necessary. “As a digital marketing company, we aren’t necessarily in the business of deeply educating consumers from beginning-to-end about all of their available options,” Sturgill said in an email. “Our role is to connect consumers to advisors who can and should effectively educate consumers.”

The broker callback number that consumer Hemani Hughes said she used to correct the spelling of her name on her Jericho Share plan — before she realized it was a ministry — is listed on the websites of the Better Business Bureau and the Utah Insurance Department as belonging to Florida-based Prosperity Health. In an email, Prosperity Health’s registered business agent, Ahmed Shokry, said it had “never sold Health Shares.”

Hughes, a 49-year-old communications strategist in Kansas, said she was sold a Jericho Share plan in February after specifically telling a broker she did not want a health care sharing ministry plan. Hughes said she realized after her call that the broker never mentioned the plan by name, saying only that she was signing up for a “national PPO” and walking her through the copays.

When Hughes realized it was a health care sharing ministry, she said, she called to cancel her plan. She was met with what she described as “a pretty manipulating and very belligerent gantlet of customer service reps and hold times” over multiple calls.

At one point, Hughes said, the people she was speaking with told her it was irresponsible to go without insurance — even though Jericho Share itself is not insurance.

Hughes outlined her story in a complaint she filed with the Better Business Bureau. Jericho Share responded to the consumer watchdog that it was contacting Hughes directly to protect her private health information and said, “We are working very diligently to investigate this complaint thoroughly.” Hughes ultimately received a refund.

When Tina Passione was searching for health insurance online, she entered her information into what she thought was a government website for Affordable Care Act plans.

Tina Passione


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Tina Passione


When Tina Passione was searching for health insurance online, she entered her information into what she thought was a government website for Affordable Care Act plans.

Tina Passione

Passione, in Georgia, said she filed her complaint with the Better Business Bureau after she couldn’t get a straight answer about payment for her doctor appointments and prescriptions. In March, Passione canceled her Jericho Share plan and signed up for COBRA coverage through her former employer for $782 a month.

“A bit expensive, but at least I know what I am getting,” Passione said.

She said she was reimbursed by Jericho Share for one month’s payment and is waiting to hear whether her credit card company can recoup payments she made in January and February.

Fauman, who also filed a complaint, received a refund too, but spent two months uninsured and avoided calling her doctor while she sorted out the situation.

“I was afraid of what it was going to cost me,” Fauman said.

She eventually got marketplace insurance with the help of a “navigator,” someone trained to help consumers enroll in coverage without earning a commission. After subsidies, Fauman’s premium is around $95 a month, costing her about $2,800 less a year than what she said her Jericho Share plan would have — and her new plan is actually insurance.

KHN (Kaiser Health News) is a national newsroom that produces in-depth journalism about health issues. It is an editorially independent operating program of KFF (Kaiser Family Foundation).